Becoming a grandparent can be one of the best experiences that can happen in a parent’s life: holding a newborn and seeing both the past and the future reflected in their tiny features; hearing the joyous laughter of a toddler; watching a grandchild achieve a milestone, such as graduating from college or getting married. And, when a grandparent is ready for their nap or to go out to dinner, well, there’s an old saying: Being a grandparent is better because you get to give the child back!
What if, though, you, the grandparent, have an acrimonious relationship with your own child or your son or daughter-in-law that has poisoned the potential relationship between you and your grandchild(ren)? What if your relationship with your grandchildren just isn’t close? What if your grandchild’s parents are divorced? What if your child has even forbidden their children from seeing you, their grandparent?
You may have rights, referred to as grandparent’s visitation rights, depending upon the particular facts of your case. A Hackensack grandparents’ rights lawyer can help you exercise them. Speak with a seasoned family attorney at our firm to learn more.
Let’s look at what steps to take if you feel you’re unfairly being kept from seeing your grandchildren:
More than likely, you’ve already tried this step, though it may be worth trying again: an email stating your hopes or a telephone call with an olive branch and a simple request. We’re not suggesting you’re going to be able to mend the overall rift with your child that has resulted in your not being allowed to foster a close relationship with your grandchild(ren), but perhaps a willingness to listen will break down the barriers and allow for a simple visit— a small place to start. (Sometimes the rift will happen, tragically after a parent’s death, usually between the parent not related to the grandparent: try to act as compassionately as possible while also remembering you may have rights.)
You’ll want to find the lawyer who you feel has the best grasp on your unique situation, and who is a good fit with you personally. Working with your Hackensack grandparents’ rights attorney, you may ask your lawyer to reach out to your grandchild’s parents. Or you may want to craft an application to the Court asking the Court to grant you, the grandparent, visitation rights. Such rights aren’t automatic or guaranteed but rather won after you and your lawyer successfully petition the Court.
You and your lawyer will have to provide sufficient evidence that the grandchild would be harmed without access to his/her grandparent, as well as demonstrate that it’s in the best interest of the child (the gold standard for all family law decisions) to spend time with their grandparent. Text messages, emails, voicemails, photos— anything that you feel might be relevant to your lawyer is worth showing to them.
Rule N.J.S.A. 9:2-7.1. provides the legal right for a grandparent to file a petition with the court to have visitation with their grandchildren. There are no guarantees, of course, once a petition is filed— but obviously, nothing will happen until you take the first step. And sometimes, just knowing that a grandparent is fighting to see their grandchildren will be enough to soften the complicated and complex family dynamic.
What issues may impact the Court’s decision or have led to the difficult and strained relationship in the first place? Let’s examine some of them:
If you, the grandparent and your Hackensack Grandparents’ visitation rights lawyer are successful; you may have trepidation about reestablishing contact and/or visitation with your grandchildren (or even your own child). Remember, it’s a process and takes time: there’s no need to attempt to win over the grandchild immediately with a big gesture (basically, avoid the ‘divorced Disneyland Dad’-syndrome, in which divorced fathers take their kids on a big outing). Just showing up and listening— being present— is enough. And that goes for your treatment towards the parent or guardian who may have caused the estrangement in the first place. If it goes well, there will likely be more encounters; more opportunities to be part of your grandchild(ren)’s life, to bring a present or go on an outing then. Also, be sure to be good to yourself, and to schedule some recuperation time afterwards: you may want to have a cup of tea with a friend or take a walk— anything that helps you process.
At O’Cathain Law Group, our motto is Move Forward. Grandchildren, of course, do nothing but move forward: the first step, the first word, the first tooth— onto the next thing! Working with your Hackensack grandparents’ rights lawyer, you can exercise your rights to be there alongside them as you take the next step and Move Forward together.
Are you a grandparent who’s being denied visitation? Schedule a consultation today. Call, fill out the intake form, or email a dedicated Family Law paralegal to speak with an experienced attorney at O’Cathain Law Group.